I look torn up. dmtadm
@15 hours agoRT @English50cent: I would like to make my appreciation known to all the women who have tried and failed to have intercourse with me.
@1 day ago with 1 note
Marge: Oh you have nothing to worry about honey.
Homer: Your mother’s right Bart. Sure, you’re the one who ruined all of Sideshow Bob’s criminal schemes…
Marge: We’re very proud of you.
Homer: And sure… he’s probably so insane with rage that he’d butcher you horribly if he could.
Marge: BUT he’s safely locked away.
Homer: …in a Medium-Security prison.
Marge: For life!
Homer: Unless he gets out somehow.
Marge: Which is impossible!
Homer: Or so you’d THINK! Except he’s done it so many times before.
(via -ralphwiggum)
